Do you have your own internal mean girl?

We all know the standard pre-flight announcement, we are instructed that, "if there should be a change in cabin pressure...put your oxygen mask on first before helping others."

And this has become a common metaphor when making a case for self-care.

If you think about it, it is horrible example.

The plane is going down and NOW is the time that we should take care of ourselves? Really??

But this is used ALL OF THE TIME.

By women in particular.

Because women especially are taught to take care of ourselves .... so that we can take care of others.

I am guilty of this.

Because now I see that, when I used it for myself, it was always coming from a place of lack.

Never being quite good enough.

I think that is how my own personal "mean girl" fueled her power. I accepted her negativity and put downs in the spirit of "I should be doing better."

Given my internal dialogue, it is no wonder I was drawn to numbing behaviors. Drinking helped temporarily escape that bitch.

It never once occurred to me to believe that I have been whole all along.

I was so busy trying to hide or compensate for the bad parts, the things that I don't like about myself, that it kept me from being myself.

Now, I recognize that this is a process, not an event. And there are still days when I struggle, but I have more patience with myself now and she has lost the death grip that she once had on me.

What about you?

How would things be different for you if you stood up to your internal mean girl?

This is the work that I do with my clients. I help them to recognize that the "never good enough gremlins," as Brene Brown calls them, come from messages that have been imprinted on our brains without our conscious awareness.

We question everything. Everything that is driving unwanted behaviors can be traced back to a root cause/thought.

This is a foundational piece in your journey on how to drink less and live more and I would love to help you figure it out.