Moving from consuming to creating

My husband teases me that I always have way too many ideas in my head. I will say "I was thinnnkkkingggg..." and give him a big smile and he just groans. He knows that this is his signal that whatever comes out of my mouth next is going to involve him.

Even though this is just our joke, there is some truth to it. Sometimes my mind races and I feel overwhelmed by all of the ideas bing-banging around in my head. I used to think that it was just me, but I hear this from other people all of the time. Maybe this is a function of our 24/7, constant go, always connected, "it didn't happen unless you posted it" society.

I tried yoga, meditation, exercise and cutting back on caffeine, but nothing worked as quickly as alcohol. Using alcohol to quiet the racing thoughts and unwind is a consistent theme with my Drink Less Live More clients too. Because let's face it, it works. Alcohol slows down the central nervous system. It was used as a general anesthetic in Brittan, Germany and Mexico in the 1930s.

What I didn't realize at the time was that I needed that glass of wine, or three, to unwind because of the wine that I had the night before. I would wake up groggy and spend the day making bad food choices, procrastinating focus work and not being present with my colleagues and family in an effort to get through the day. I "deserved" that wine to get through the evening.

Since my goal was to figure out how to drink what I want, when I want, I had to break out of the nightly cycle of drinking to unwind. But as long as I believed that alcohol was the best solution at the end of the day, I was stuck. There was no way to solve this equation. Either I keep drinking more than I wanted and relax, or drink less and not relax. I had to change one of the variables. I had to open up to the thought that since not everyone in the world used wine to relax, it was possible that there are other ways. I begrudgingly accepted this ladder thought because I couldn't argue with the logic.

With the more neutral thought of "It is possible that there are other ways to relax at night," I was open to trying out different things. I did deserve to relax and could do it in different ways. I started to tap into creative projects as an outlet. In the beginning, I picked up activities that I enjoyed when I was younger as a way to keep myself busy during the "witching" hours. And today, it has developed into so much more.

It turns out that being creative is a fantastic way to slow your mind down and de-stress. I know that for me, I breathe when I do. Obviously I am breathing throughout the day, but I definitely recognize the shift from shallow breathing into deeper abdominal breaths as I relax into whatever I am doing. This is always a signal that I am present. I can't be ruminating about the past or worried about the future when I am present with my breath. My racing thoughts slow down and I enjoy the process.

I have rediscovered crochet. I pick out yarns and patterns that are way too advanced for me, but it all works out. I have a strongly held belief that I will figure it out. Since I love the process, it doesn't really matter how long it takes. I love the rhythmic nature of it and the satisfaction of taking a ball of yarn and creating something new. Often this means that I rip it out multiple times to get it right, but that doesn't bother me. Interesting that when I have to recreate a file or presentation, I don't have the same reaction!

I have also discovered Zen Art. This is the umbrella name for the meditative drawing of patterns. I especially love Mandalas which are circular geometric designs that typically follow a consistent repetitive pattern. They are simple, fun and no risk to make because there is no wrong way to do them. If you are interested in trying these out for yourself, look at this YouTube video - Easy step by step Mandala. Even if you don't put pen to paper, just watching it can be mesmerizing.

The other benefit that extends beyond the creative session is that I am more aware of details in my everyday life. Maybe it is the stitches on a piece of clothing or the shadows on the trees in the yard. The act of paying attention to the paper or the yarn extends into my daily life.

If you are saying, yeah that's all fine and well, but I am not creative, I understand. I went to Business School. My sister went to Art School, she is the artist in the family. Let me assure you that you do not have to be creative to benefit from creative activities. No one is asking you to quit your day job. No one needs to even see whatever it is that you create. Rediscover something that you enjoyed when you were younger. Do it for you and see what happens.

My coach helped me see that what I thought was the truth - "I need wine to quiet my racing mind in the evenings" was just a thought. And once I could see that as an optional thought, I opened up to the possibility of finding other solutions.

This is the work that I do with my clients - not crochet or mandalas specifically - but identifying the underlying beliefs that are so firmly ingrained that they are invisible to us. They are called blind spots for a reason!

Whereas I used to reach for my wine glass, I now reach for my colored markers or crochet hook. I literally moved from consuming into creating.

I deserved better, and so do you.