The Stockholm syndrome of self judgement

We tend to be our own worst critics.

"I never should have let myself get into this situation."

"I should know better and now I am embarrassed and humiliated."

We believe that being tough on ourselves is an effective motivation to do or to "be" better.

I think that this is a form of Stockholm syndrome.

We keep ourselves hostage by acclimating to our own beat downs.

We so desperately want to feel better and that we fall into the trap that it is worth it. What underlies this belief is that if we are nice to ourselves, then we will slack off and drink a bottle of wine in front of Netflix.

It is so insidious because it hides under the guise of "I set high standards for myself." That sounds so good and noble.

This belief is FLAWED.

Self-judgement is not justified. It keeps you stuck.

If you don't believe me, run it through your own test. What result is this behavior creating in your life?

How do you treat yourself when you overdrink?

Do you go straight into the F-it phase and drink everything in the house because you messed up again?

Or do you decide to tap into curiosity, make the next best decision and learn what you can from what happened?

NO ONE wakes up one morning and just takes control of their relationship with drinking. EVERYONE goes through ups and downs.

The difference between the woman who has the relationship that she wants with alcohol, and the one who doesn't, is how she talks to herself after she messes up.

That is it - PERIOD.

Stop arguing for your limitations today.

Start with acknowledging what you are doing well. If your brain wants to resist this, notice it. That is proof that you are exactly in the right place. This is your work until this feels natural and the resistance drops away.

What if those high standards you set for yourself were self-acknowledgment, self-acceptance, and pride?

How would that change things for you?