Do you know why you over-drink?

Have you ever heard that the characteristics that drive you crazy in your kids are the ones that will make them successful?? Research shows that stubbornness is a good predictor of a child's future success in life. These kids tend to be the ones that don't follow their friends like lemmings. And as adults, they tend to be more competitive and willing to fight for their financial and personal interests. This news has certainly helped me reframe the times that Samantha fell asleep at the dining room table rather than finish her dinner!

I bring this up because I see a similar reframe with over-drinking.

We over-drink because we have an over-desire for alcohol. But contrary to popular belief, this over-desire means that our brains are working exactly the way that they are supposed to work. It means that our brains are healthy and learning.

Similar to how our ancestors learned that the red berries tasted better than the unripe ones. The smart ones remembered to go back to the bushes with the ripe berries for their dopamine hit. In the same way, we know that the chilled Chardonnay is a guaranteed dopamine hit. No foraging required!

Pavlov's dogs developed a conditioned response when they heard the research assistants coming down the hallway with their food. They associated the sound of clogs with their food and physically responded with drool.

Most people don't crave a glass of wine with breakfast, but it is a completely different story with dinner! This a conditioned response.

It does not mean that you are out of control.

It means that you are a good learner.

And this is good news because with this understanding, we can purposefully re-wire your brain so that you don't over-desire alcohol. Think of it as using the same processes that got you here to create a different result.

How? You do this by practicing.

Just like you have practiced drinking, you will practice not drinking.

I can already hear you say, I have already tried that and it doesn't work for long. But what I am suggesting is different. It is different because it engages the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for executive function or long term planning.

This will require conscious energy in the beginning, as does learning any new skill.

Our daughter is learning how to drive right now and needs to completely focus on the road. But that will not always be the case. Over time, it will become second nature for her. As it will for you with your drinking.

Most of us were not taught that we can harness the power of the prefrontal cortex, much less that we can use it to decondition our over-desire for alcohol. But it is 100% possible with the human brain.

It is absolutely possible to take what looks like a problem to your advantage. Your over-desire means that your brain is operating exactly the way that it should. And just like the stubborn kid will grow up to be successful, you can use your brain to decondition your over-desire for alcohol.