Are you ignoring the alarm?

Ever have that feeling that you need a reward at the end of the day?

I definitely did.

I spent all day suffocating from wearing my “good employee” mask. Frustrated from meeting after meeting talking about the same things over and over again. Feeling ignored when my opinion was disregarded. Or just plain tired of the hierarchical nonsense.

Yes, these are thoughts. But I was in a high pressure job and couldn’t exactly excuse myself to go do a thought download in the moment.

And I definitely didn’t stop during the day to process the emotions.

So these emotions built up and by the end of the day, it was like a pressure cooker that needed a release. This release was my red wine. This was my reward.

We live in a drinking culture. We are constantly being fed messaging that alcohol is the solution to everything in our lives - good or bad. It is everywhere- TV, movies, friends, family, you name it. (Note: don’t take my word on this, do an audit for yourself - make a mental note of the messages you personally receive about alcohol. Hit reply and let me know what you uncover.)

Of course we need a reward after a hard day- everyone does. Of course we celebrate with alcohol - it is a lame celebration without booze. I might have said these exact words btw. We buy into the marketing and societal messages that life is better with alcohol despite the data that we have from our own experiences that it isn’t the magical elixir that it is touted to be.

“Why bother dealing with these pesky emotions when a drink solves for it?” We know from experience that alcohol does work. Well, in the short term at least.

I find this concerning because the underlying message is that we can’t handle our own emotions. And through repetition, this becomes reinforced until eventually we believe it to be as true as gravity.

Think about that- our emotions are vibrations in our body. They are there to tell us something and yet we don’t want to listen to them. This is like turning the smoke alarm off thinking that this will help put out the fire.

What if we started listening to the smoke alarm?

Get curious with yourself about what is going on when you need a reward at the end of the day. Is it habit to pour a drink when you get home? In this case, keep the ritual but switch out what is in the glass. I probably use more bar glasses than I ever did when I was a regular drinker!

If you feel like it is more than that and you need a release, what is happening during the day that is causing the build up? Are you shoving down how you are feeling? Are you wondering what the heck I am talking about when I say that? Take a few minutes for yourself and try this Feeling Now practice. Emotions are patient and will wait for your until they are processed. I have found this to be so impactful for myself and my clients confirm it for themselves.

Not only are we are not taught how to deal with our emotions, but we are actively told to not deal with them. That is a little mind bendy, but read it again and let it sink in. The net of it is that there is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself nodding along with this message.

I highly encourage everyone to reward themselves. And the best way to do this is from a place of wanting to, not needing to.

If you want some additional guidance in cleaning up this “needing to”, let’s work together. I am currently taking private clients and will be honored to be with you on your journey to live a life from which you never want to escape.