Why we overdrink
Have you ever heard that the characteristics that drive you crazy in your kids are the ones that will make them successful??
Research shows that stubbornness is a good predictor of a child's future success in life. These are the kids who tend to be the ones that don't follow their friends like lemmings. And as adults, they tend to be more competitive and willing to fight for their financial and personal interests.
This news has certainly helped me reframe the times that my daughter fell asleep at the dining room table rather than eat her dinner!
The same reframe can be to over-drinking.
We over-drink because we have an over-desire for alcohol.
But contrary to popular belief, this over-desire means that our brains are working exactly the way that they are supposed to work. It means that our brains are healthy and learning.
Similar to how our ancestors learned that the red berries tasted better than the unripe ones. The ones who survived remembered to go back to the bushes with the ripe berries for their dopamine hit. In the same way, we know that the chilled Chardonnay is a guaranteed dopamine hit. No foraging required!
Pavlov's dogs developed a conditioned response when they heard the research assistants coming down the hallway with their food. They associated the sound of clogs with their food and physically responded with drool.
Most people don't crave a glass of wine with breakfast, but it is a completely different story with dinner! This a conditioned response.
It does not mean that you are out of control.
It means that you are a good learner.
And this is good news because the same brain that learned the over-desire can unlearn it or unwind it however far you want it to go. Think of it as using the same processes that got you here to create a different result.
How? You do this by practicing.
Just like you have practiced drinking, you will practice not drinking.
I know you have already tried that. I know that it doesn't work for long.
But in the past, you have only used willpower.
What I teach is different.
It is different because it engages the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for executive function or long-term planning, and you will set up strategies to override the primitive brain when the urges come up in the moment.
This will require conscious energy in the beginning, as does learning any new skill.
Our daughter recently learned how to drive. She still needs to focus on the road when she is behind the wheel.
But that will not always be the case.
Over time, it will become second nature for her. Then she will be changing the radio, talking to her friends, but hopefully not checking her phone. As it will for you with your drinking.
Most of us were not taught that we can harness the power of the prefrontal cortex. Much less that we can use it to decondition our over-desire for alcohol. But it is 100% possible with the human brain.
It is absolutely possible to take what looks like a problem and shift it to being your superpower.
And just like the stubborn kid will grow up to be successful, you can use your learning brain to decondition your over-desire for alcohol.
This is the kind of work that I do with my clients every day. If you are not making the progress that you would like to see in your journey to drink less, we should talk. Schedule a consult with me here today.
Or join me starting Sunday in my FREE Wine Free Work Week Challenge. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/541981990144261
Take care,
Caroline
PS - I am hosting a FREE Wine Free Work Week Challenge starting on Sunday, March 20th-Thursday, March 24th.
I would love for you go join me and the others. Just click the link and you will be in: https://www.facebook.com/groups/541981990144261
PPS- Here is a video that I put together on the topic of over-desire.
PPPS- I have added a page on my website to capture Free Resources for you. If you find it helpful, please let me know and I will continue to add to it!
