Is expecting things to be hard making things harder for you?

You are smart and successful. Most people would envy your life. That is one of the reasons that it is so frustrating that you have this low grade discomfort with the amount you drink. You have figured everything else out, but not your drinking...yet.

I am going to go out on a limb today to challenge a belief that feels helpful, but might not be serving you. I invite you to challenge the idea that things must be difficult.

Many of us grew up with the idea that "to be successful, you have to work hard."

And what happens is that sometimes when we expect progress to be hard, we can subconsciously make it hard.

It feels like it is being "realistic," but I ask you to consider that instead of helping you, this belief that it has to be "hard" could be slowing you down.

What is hard about sticking to your planned amount of drinks when everyone around you is drinking?

The mental chatter of it being hard that is hard. It isn't being around people who are drinking. I know this because the people who don't have that story about it being hard, do not find it hard.

If you find this crazy to imagine, then that is your sign to pay attention.

If you were allergic to mayonnaise, would you find it hard to be around people eating sandwiches with mayo? I doubt it. But not because of the diagnosis. It is because you have a thought that the stomach ache isn't worth it or something along these lines.

Same principle with drinking.

What comes up for you when I say that you can become someone who drinks exactly what she wants when she wants?

When you let your primitive brain have a little fit here, this brings to the surface all of the subconscious beliefs that your ability to do it.

This hack provides some insight into the primitive brain's game plan.

If you were playing a game and knew the opponent's plan, then you would just plan accordingly right? Same idea here - design a strategy for each of these obstacles.

For example:

If your objection thought is: "I have been drinking for so long, this is going to be hard for me to change."

Strategy:

Practice the new thought: "It is possible that I can make this easier on myself."

If the idea of being able to stop after your planned amount sparked your curiosity, use this worksheet to dig into it more.