The carrot versus the stick
I am a big believer in using the carrot versus the stick when incenting a new behavior.
Pause and think about the carrot and stick metaphor. It dates back to a mid-1800s caricature of a donkey race. The losing jokey is frantically whipping his donkey to urge it forward, meanwhile the relaxed winner dangles a carrot in front of his steed.
Some people respond well to the whip. Not me. I am like water in that way. I go for the path of least resistance. This means making it as attractive as possible.
Everyone is nodding along right now.
Because waking up without a hangover is attractive, but.....so is:
that third glass
finishing off the bottle so you can get it in recycling
getting swept up in the fun of having a birthday shot
celebrating spring weather with friends
escaping when you have had a bad day
The devil is in the details. So now what?
This is the struggle between the primitive brain and the prefrontal cortex. Immediate pleasure and longer term goals.
Immediate pleasure is attractive, clearly.
The trick is to think a little further out than what is right in front of your nose. Make your longer term goals MORE attractive.
How much time are you spending focused on what you do want?
Better relationships. For whatever reason, when I drink too much, I get caught up in being right. I get my feelings hurt. I overshare. Without that, I focus on being present and understanding with the people I care about.
Better decisions. Even though the f-it moments seem like a good idea at the time... there is no question that I make better decisions now.
Feel better. I sleep better, I am no longer as anxious and I love, love, love waking up and greeting the day.
More time. I was amazed at how much time I "found" when I cut back on my drinking. Gaining back the time wasted nursing hangovers alone was a windfall. Then I started to focus that time towards the things that I wanted. Contrast this to waiting until 11:00am when I could get a BigMac as part of my hangover cure. (I definitely do not recommend btw)
Happier. The first time someone told me that alcohol is a depressant, I thought that it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. So now, if you are saying the same thing, I get it. What I found from my own experience is that it became an insidious cycle. Ever since I stepped off the hamster wheel, I have been genuinely happier.
So in thinking about the carrot approach. When it comes to drinking less, how can you do to make it as attractive, enjoyable and easy as possible?
